Saturday, April 19, 2008

Trashball 041808: Earth to Bob Dole Campaign (Irv Rastin Again for a Day)

In case anybody from the 1996 Dole for President campaign is reading this, for 12 hardscrabble years now I've been trying, without success, to correct the problem with the credit card you sent me. NO ONE ACCEPTS IT! (So far.)
I slide it through the thingamajig at the millet-supply store, hand it to the surly clerk at the local wig shoppe, and try to buy tickets for Pan Am airlines, all to no avail and—as usual—wind up having to pay with pennies from the big jar I wheel around with me along with my oxygen tank.
And while I hate to prattle on about it, I have politely asked many times that you issue a new card with the correct spelling of my name; it should read IRV RASTIN, not IN RASTIN. Holy mother church.
Thanks &c.,
Your Humble Sv't,
IRV Rastin
P.S.--Do them Viagra pills still pitch tents for you after all these years? My long-suffering wife, Poppy, won't let me near them.

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