Trashball 083107: Bad, Betty, Bad!

I googled Bad Betty Squadron and all I could find was a 2004 listserv post about forming what I take to be an all-girl paintball team in the Phoenix area. This 2" x 5" sticker was recovered from the curb of Alameda Ave., in Las Cruces.

Trashball 083107: Republican, Democrat, or Sanitarian?

Count me in as the latter! There's nothing new about poorly translated Chinese packaging, but it's always funny. At least to me. And I wonder if the models used on these two labels ever find themselves wandering through a dollar store and come across these old forgotten shots.

Recovered on N. Main St. in Las Cruces, NM.

Trashball Lands in Las Cruces

Sorry I haven't posted for a while, but I recently completed my move to Las Cruces, New Mexico, home of the lovely Organ Mountains (pictured). I'll start posting regularly soon.

Trashball 072907: Mouth Gag

Just what I needed to see, this alarmingly accurate mold of someone's unusually bad teeth. I've actually had it for a while, but was loathe to remove it from its box until now. Still, it gives me the creeps.

Things to Love and Loathe About America

Came across this thoughtful list on a New Zealand Blog called "Statistically Improbable Phrases" (by which I suppose he means sentences like "The badger, stealing quietly across Grand Central, shuttered the blinds and settled down with my second cousin to perform a plangent reading of The Badger Stole Quietly Across."

Naturally, and justly, there was this list, too.

Trashball 072907: Ballot Problems

This is simply an impossible task. I say, how am I meant to winnow down five candidates when I'm required to vote for all five? Truly, the only name of the five Community Member pols I can vote for in good conscience is Slater; Cashell has bad breath, Daily spends far too much time with my daughter, Reagh once lifted my wallet, and Dr. Stiefel is spotty.

As for the Active Members, I suppose I can see my way clear to ticking the Pickett box, despite his long-winded ruminations on the Coolidge administration.

Trashball 072907: Your Motorcar, Sir

A bill of sale for a 1936 Ford Touring Tudor (here's a pic). Not too bad, coming in at $720.73. Still, that's more than I've paid for most of the cars I've owned. Recovered from the aforementioned estate.

Trashball 072907: The End of a Logo

This was 1936, so I'm sure the good folks down at Sloan Auctioneers were soon forced to drop their otherwise serviceable logo. Along with their inch-wide moustaches. Recovered from the aforementioned estate.

Trashball 072907: But Where's Potsie?

Anson Williams might be missing, but we have a good fledgling cast here for Happy Days. More fun '50s snaps recovered from a Washington, DC, estate before it went to the dump. I love the girl smoking the cigarette (and it was her estate).

Trashball 072807: Satisfactory Binders

I am completely enamored of the politeness shown in this 1937 letter, all for the banal purpose of ordering new binders for the writer's collection of Readers Digest magazines. A little stiff, a little formal, but entirely charming. Plus, the writer saved a carbon copy of the letter for his records!

Recovered from a Washington, DC, estate before it went to the dump.

Trashball 072807: Dick Lee vs. Jim Busby

This guy on the left, Dick Lee, for some reason felt it necessary to autograph not only his own cheesy photo (kinda looks like a real schmendrick), but also the photograph of Washington Senators' player Jim Busby, already signed by Busby.

Recovered from an old shoebox from a Washington, DC, estate.

Trashball 072407: Riding the Short Bus

These kids are definitely not on the way to a spelling bee.

Actually, this charming rendition was made by my beloved work partner, Edwin Benitez, this afternoon during a rare bit of downtime on the dump truck. Edwin is 24, but already showing signs of the great French painter Jean Dubuffet

Trashball 072207: Santa Is a Miserable Dog

One of my favorite finds ever. Recovered most recently in my studio, but originally recovered in, I think, Hollis, Oklahoma.

Trashball 072207: Going on a Hayride

Letter fragment recovered in Fairfax, VA.

Trashball 072207: The Land of Flush Toilets

Letter fragment recovered on 33rd St., NW, in Washington, DC.

Trashball in the News: Voice of America

Well, here's another outing for the remarkably un-telegenic Christopher Goodwin.

Trashball 070707: Alley King

Flat metal crown (about 2 inches wide) found in alley behind the 1700 block of Swann St., NW, in DC. One of my favorite finds.

Trashball 070707: Bombay Mystery

What did this small packet contain? And who's that handsome fella featured on it? Recovered on R St., NW, in DC.

Trashball 070707: Ask for Amy

I remember wanting a bike with streamers and a banana seat. All I had to do was sell thousands of greeting cards to my neighbors. I never got very far, although Ms. Houghton across the street did invite me in for a Little Debbie oatmeal cookie. Comic book ad recovered in Bethesda, MD.

Trashball 070707: Original Polaroid Land Photograph

That's what it says on back. Can't say that it's the original. CONTEST: Best poem received rhyming "polaroid" with "hemmorhoid" wins a mystery prize. Photo recovered on Capitol Hill.

Trashball 062807: Wherever There's a 2 You'll Find a 1

A nicely made ticket for an old production of "Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves". Possibly a puppet show. Recovered in Washington, DC.

Trashball 062807: Life is a Big Testy Girl

Remorseful flower card recovered in Fairfax, VA.

Trashball 062707: Two, and All It Implies

Recovered in the Benning Liquor parking lot in Washington, DC, several days after initiating divorce.

Trashball 062707: Nuptial Kitsch

Small plastic tchochke recovered in Fairfax, VA.

Trashball 062707: Breck Girls Will Be Girls

Advertisement subversion found on back cover of Junior Scholastic magazine from 1963. Gonna get those fleas right outta my hair...

Recovered in Fairfax, VA.

Trashball 062707: Wishey? Yes, I Suppose...

Terrific old mini liquor bottle found among many genuine ones in Northwest, DC. Old Overcoat, indeed!

Trashball 061407: The Human Side

So nice to see the human side of our brave law enforcement personnel. Rather than squirming under the heel of their boots or trembling before the business end of their Glocks or feeling the cold steel of their handcuffs or all the hitting and pushing and shooting and shoving and yelling and hitting...

Recovered in Burke, VA.

Trashball 061407: I Just Met a Girl Named Blue Jean

Just in time for Flag Day, I came across this jeans tag saved in a circa 1982 scrapbook that was thrown out last week in northwest DC (or Dee Cee, if you will).

Trashball 061307: NOT Legal Tender, Apparently

I found several Stephen Decatur Middle School Eagle Bucks at the dump and frankly I'm beginning to wish I never had. Nobody, and I mean nobody, accepts these things for payment. Guess I'll just give them out to panhandlers...

Recovered at the trash transfer station on W St., NE, in Washington, DC.

Trashball 061107: Igo Yugo

Are these collectible yet? I want one. Recovered in Bethesda. MD.

Trashball 061107: Back to the Old House

Recovered on Jackson St., NE, in DC.

Trashball 061107: Monday Morning Cheer-Up Time!

Well, maybe not so cheery. Someone wrote "My favorite" next to it. Recovered in Fairfax, VA.

Trashball 061107: Bee's Knees

This bee appears to be wearing a mortar board. Maybe he's as busy as a bee with a degree in busy from the University of Busy. And maybe he knows what the hell is going on with all the disappearing bees. Recovered in Mt. Rainier, MD.

Trashball 053007: Milo's Tooth: The Sequel

Well, it was inevitable. Milo the cat has lost his other top-row front canine tooth (here's the first one to go). I found this one on my comfy green chair, where Milo often sleeps and loses teeth. And yes, this tooth will fit in a Trashball.

Trashball 052807: Treatise on Style

The Chinese have long been the best in package design, as far as I'm concerned. Recovered on the 1000 block of 4th St., NE, in DC.

Have You Always Wanted a Trashball, But Were Afraid to Ask?

Well, for those of you not in DC and therefore nowhere near a Trashball machine, you can now get your very own Trashballs. Send $3.00 via paypal.com (click here) and I'll send you 4 randomly chosen Trashballs via 1st-class mail (that's the regular price of 25 cents plus $2.00 postage/handling). This is for U.S. residents only. International coveters of Trashballs should email me first at chris [at] goodwinart [dot] com and we'll work something out.

Trashball 051807: Paradise Lost

Okay, so nothing is paradise. But sometimes I really miss being a kid.

Recovered in Alexandria, VA.

Trashball in the News: CNBC

My first live TV interview and I figured I'd be in a fancy green room, plied with tasty catered foods while getting made up. Hell no. Just a humorless cameraman and me under hot lights.

Trashball 051407: Larry's a Stinker

Diary entries from a circa 1969 sorority pledge. States that pledges must always carry, among other things, a "passafire", by which I think she means pacifier. And after reading a lot of entries not posted, it's clear that "Larry" is acting like a total jerk to her and she should totally break up with him. Recovered in Fairfax, VA.

Trashball 051107: Lamb Sandwich

This luridly photographed lamb repels me yet makes me hungry. Recovered from 33rd St., NW, in DC.

Trashball 050607: Early Warhol

Nice vintage Davy Crockett shirt. Recovered in Laurel, MD.

Trashball 050607: That's Gotta Hoit (Say in Jimmy Durante Voice)

Recovered on U St., NW, in Washington, DC.

Trashball 050507: We Are the Champions

History, as written by the victors.

Trashball 050507: Can't Touch This

Say hello to Diondre, Benn, and Cookie, as they are labeled on the back of this 1986 photo I recovered on Minnesota Avenue in D.C. The fellow on the right menaces the viewer with a half-peeled orange.

How About Some Down-Home Lard 'n Butter?

Yesterday's job on the dump truck was an all-day affair. We were charged with emptying a house in Fairfax, Virginia, that had been abandoned 8 years ago and unoccupied since. It's as if, one day in 1999, the person had left to go out for a pack of smokes and never came back. The house was fully furnished, the closets full of clothes, and the refrigerator and upright freezer fully stocked.

Mind you, the fridge and freezer had not been opened in 8 years and had not run for who knows how long. Guess who got to open them up and clean them out?

You may wonder why we didn't simply tape the doors shut and dump the fridges with the contents in them. We would have loved to; alas, the dump has a special drop-off point for fridges and requires them to be empty.

My wishful theory that dead and rotten things eventually stop smelling proved off-base. Sickeningly so. The odor that burst forth and infiltrated our nostrils and pores was shocking.

Still, the freezer in particular yielded up interesting things, and I'm not referring to the half-eaten leg of lamb (I think it was). Inside were old plastic containers containing leftovers that had been helpfully labeled with contents and dates. There was chopped basil from April 30, 1982. Eggplant parmesan from 1979 (even if the house was abandoned in 1999, how could these things have been left in for so long?!). There were probably 2 dozen of these containers in all, spanning many years but nothing later than 1984. The 1977 containers of lard are pictured above, as is the stick of butter found in the fridge. The butter, by the way, had become very light and papery and felt hollow. That said, it was not too bad spread on toast.